_edited_edited.png)
Introduction
When most people think of ADHD, they imagine a hyperactive young boy who can’t sit still in class. This stereotype has contributed to a major gender gap in ADHD diagnoses, with women and nonbinary individuals often being overlooked or misdiagnosed. Unlike the typical presentation of hyperactivity seen in boys, ADHD in women and nonbinary people tends to be more internalized, showing up as chronic daydreaming, emotional sensitivity, or extreme perfectionism.
Because of this, many go undiagnosed until adulthood, sometimes not realizing they have ADHD until they see a TikTok or read a post that finally explains their lifelong struggles. This blog explores how ADHD presents differently across genders, why so many people are missed in diagnosis, and how to seek proper support.
Why Are Women & Nonbinary People Underdiagnosed?
Historically, ADHD research has focused on young boys, leading to a diagnostic framework that doesn’t fully account for how the condition presents in other genders. Several factors contribute to this gender gap:
1. Masking ADHD Symptoms
Many women and nonbinary people internalize their struggles rather than acting out.
They learn to mask symptoms by mimicking socially acceptable behaviours, such as appearing organized or forcing themselves to sit still despite restlessness.
They may overcompensate by becoming people-pleasers or perfectionists, leading to exhaustion and burnout.
2. ADHD Looks Different in Women & Nonbinary People
Girls with ADHD may be dreamy, forgetful, and emotionally sensitive rather than hyperactive.
They may develop anxiety or depression early on due to feeling “different” or struggling with self-esteem.
ADHD symptoms often worsen during hormonal changes, such as puberty, pregnancy, or menopause, which can make symptoms unpredictable.
3. Misdiagnosis or Dismissal
Instead of recognizing ADHD, doctors often diagnose anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Many people are told they are just lazy, emotional, or disorganized rather than receiving proper support.
Nonbinary individuals, who may experience additional societal pressures, can have their ADHD symptoms dismissed as stress or identity-related struggles rather than a neurological condition.
ADHD Symptoms in Women & Nonbinary People
While everyone with ADHD experiences it differently, here are some common symptoms that often go overlooked in women and nonbinary individuals:
1. Chronic Daydreaming & Mental Fog
Easily lost in thoughts, making it hard to stay present in conversations.
Frequently zoning out in meetings or classes.
Difficulty following multi-step instructions or staying on track with tasks.
2. Emotional Sensitivity & Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)
Extreme emotional reactions to perceived criticism or rejection.
Crying easily or feeling deeply hurt by small conflicts.
Avoiding social situations for fear of saying something “wrong.”
3. Perfectionism & People-Pleasing
Overcompensating for ADHD-related struggles by overworking or obsessing over details.
Feeling an intense need to prove competence, even when exhausted.
Taking on too many responsibilities to avoid disappointing others.
4. Executive Dysfunction & Time Blindness
Forgetting appointments, missing deadlines, or constantly running late.
Struggling to complete boring but necessary tasks like responding to emails or cleaning.
Procrastinating until the last minute, then experiencing panic-driven productivity.
5. Sensory Sensitivities & Overwhelm
Feeling overwhelmed in loud, crowded, or overstimulating environments.
Experiencing sensory issues with clothing textures, food, or noises.
Needing alone time to decompress after social interactions.
How ADHD Changes Across Life Stages
Many women and nonbinary people don’t realize they have ADHD until later in life, often because symptoms become more noticeable during hormonal shifts.
Puberty & Adolescence
Struggles with organization, schoolwork, and emotional regulation become more apparent.
Symptoms may be dismissed as “teen mood swings” rather than ADHD.
Adulthood & Work Life
ADHD-related struggles become harder to mask as responsibilities increase.
Job performance issues (missed deadlines, procrastination, time management struggles) may lead to workplace anxiety.
Many develop chronic stress or imposter syndrome, feeling like they are constantly behind.
Pregnancy & Menopause
Hormonal changes directly impact dopamine levels, making ADHD symptoms worse.
Many report feeling extra forgetful, foggy, or disorganized during these life stages.
Doctors often dismiss ADHD struggles as "just hormones" rather than recognizing the neurological aspect.
Seeking Diagnosis & Support
If you suspect you have ADHD, getting a diagnosis can be life-changing. Here’s how to start:
1. Track Your Symptoms
Keep a journal of daily struggles, patterns, and emotional responses.
Note situations where you feel overwhelmed, distracted, or emotionally drained.
2. Find a Knowledgeable Professional
Look for specialists who understand how ADHD presents in women & nonbinary individuals.
Be prepared to advocate for yourself, as many doctors still hold outdated views on ADHD.
3. Explore Treatment Options
Medication: Can help regulate focus, impulsivity, and executive function.
Therapy & Coaching: Can provide coping strategies, time management tools, and emotional support.
Lifestyle Adjustments: ADHD-friendly structures like planners, alarms, and body doubling can make daily life easier.
Final Thoughts: ADHD is Real, Even If You Were Missed
ADHD in women and nonbinary people isn’t new—it’s just been overlooked. If you’ve spent years struggling with focus, emotions, or self-doubt, you are not lazy, broken, or dramatic—you might just be neurodivergent.
With the right diagnosis and support, you can stop blaming yourself, understand your brain, and create systems that work for you.
Nereah Felix is a queer neurodivergent therapist who supports marginalized communities at Catharsis Psychology and Psychotherapy.
Comments