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What is a Toxic Relationship?
A healthy relationship should feel supportive, secure, and fulfilling. While all relationships face challenges, toxic relationships involve patterns of control, manipulation, and emotional harm that negatively impact mental well-being.
Toxic relationships can exist in romantic partnerships, friendships, and even family dynamics. They often leave people feeling drained, anxious, or unworthy, rather than valued and safe.
This blog will help you recognize the signs of a toxic relationship, understand why they happen, and explore how to heal and move forward.
Common Signs of a Toxic Relationship
1. Constant Criticism and Belittling
Toxic partners often undermine your self-esteem by:
Making hurtful comments about your appearance, intelligence, or capabilities.
Using sarcasm or "jokes" that feel more like insults.
Comparing you unfavourably to others to make you feel inadequate.
🚩 Example: "You never do anything right. I don’t know why I put up with you."
Healthy relationships involve respect and constructive feedback, not repeated criticism that makes you feel small.
2. Lack of Emotional Support
In a toxic relationship, one partner may:
Dismiss your feelings, struggles, or accomplishments.
Avoid providing comfort or reassurance when you need it.
Only focus on their own needs, making you feel unheard and unseen.
🚩 Example: You express stress about work, and your partner responds with "You’re always complaining. Just deal with it." instead of offering support.
A healthy partner validates your emotions and offers encouragement.
3. Controlling Behaviours
Toxic individuals often seek power over their partner by:
Making decisions for you without your input.
Isolating you from friends, family, or hobbies.
Monitoring your phone, social media, or whereabouts.
🚩 Example: "I don’t want you hanging out with your friends. I don’t trust them."
In a healthy relationship, both partners have independence and mutual trust.
4. Walking on Eggshells
If you feel like you have to constantly monitor what you say or do to avoid an argument or emotional outburst, this is a major red flag.
🚩 Example: You hesitate to express your needs because you fear your partner will get angry or withdraw affection.
Healthy relationships allow both partners to speak openly without fear of retaliation.
5. Manipulation and Gaslighting
Toxic partners may use manipulative tactics to control the narrative and make you doubt yourself.
🚩 Examples of Gaslighting:
"That never happened. You’re making things up."
"You’re too sensitive. You’re overreacting."
"If you really loved me, you’d do this for me."
In a healthy relationship, both partners take accountability for their actions instead of distorting reality.
6. Lack of Effort and One-Sidedness
If you feel like you’re the only one trying to make the relationship work, it’s a sign of imbalance.
🚩 Example: You always initiate communication, make sacrifices, and work to solve conflicts, while your partner dismisses your concerns or puts in little effort.
A healthy relationship is a partnership, not a one-person job.
7. Cycles of Highs and Lows
Some toxic relationships follow a "honeymoon phase" followed by tension and conflict, making it hard to leave.
🚩 Example: Your partner apologizes and showers you with love after a fight, only for the same harmful behaviors to return.
Healthy relationships have consistent respect and care, not unpredictable emotional rollercoasters.
Why Do People Stay in Toxic Relationships?
Even when people recognize that their relationship is unhealthy, leaving can feel difficult or even impossible due to:
💔 Fear of being alone – Worrying that they won’t find another partner.
💔 Emotional attachment – Feeling deeply invested in the relationship.
💔 Hope for change – Believing the toxic partner will improve.
💔 Low self-esteem – Feeling unworthy of a better relationship.
💔 Manipulation and gaslighting – Being made to believe that they’re the problem.
If any of these resonate with you, know that you are not alone, and there is a way forward.
How to Heal from a Toxic Relationship
1. Acknowledge the Reality
It’s normal to justify toxic behaviours, but healing begins with accepting that the relationship is unhealthy.
Ask yourself:
Am I constantly feeling anxious, unworthy, or exhausted in this relationship?
Do I feel more pain than happiness with this person?
Would I want my loved ones to be in a relationship like mine?
Facing the truth is the first step to change.
2. Set Boundaries or Walk Away
If you choose to stay, establish clear boundaries and hold your partner accountable.
If you choose to leave, know that it’s okay to prioritize your mental health.
Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help with the transition.
🚀 Reminder: Leaving a toxic relationship is a sign of self-respect, not failure.
3. Rebuild Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
Toxic relationships can erode confidence, making self-care and self-love essential in healing.
Reaffirm your worth – You deserve love, respect, and happiness.
Engage in activities that bring you joy.
Practice self-compassion – Healing takes time.
If you’re struggling, therapy can help process past pain and rebuild your sense of self.
4. Learn to Recognize Healthy Love
Healthy relationships feel:
✅ Supportive, not suffocating
✅ Stable, not unpredictable
✅ Encouraging, not belittling
Surround yourself with examples of healthy relationships, whether through friends, books, or therapy, to redefine what love should feel like.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve a Healthy, Fulfilling Relationship
If you’re in a toxic relationship, it’s not your fault, and you deserve better. Recognizing the signs is the first step to creating a future filled with love, respect, and emotional well-being.
If you need support in navigating an unhealthy relationship, therapy can help you set boundaries, process emotions, and move forward with confidence.
Ready to reclaim your happiness? Let’s talk.📞 613-316-6099 or info@catharsistherapy.ca
Grishma Dahal is a couple’s therapist at Catharsis Psychology and Psychotherapy.
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