Identifying Your Inner Critic

One of trauma’s most persistent legacies is the development of an inner critic. This critical voice often mimics the abusive or invalidating messages we’ve received from others. It whispers — or shouts — that we’re not good enough, that we’re to blame, or that we’ll never change. In this blog, we explore what the inner critic sounds like and how to recognize its patterns. Common inner critic phrases include: "You’re so stupid," "Why even try?" or "Everyone will leave you." These aren’t harmless thoughts; they’re often the internalized voices of past trauma.

This post introduces the practice of externalizing the inner critic—understanding it as a learned part of the psyche rather than an absolute truth. It also lays the foundation for developing a more nurturing, compassionate inner voice. Naming the inner critic is the first step to loosening its grip and learning to speak to ourselves with the same kindness we’d extend to a friend.

The inner critic often forms in response to the need to stay safe. If someone learns early on that self-blame helps avoid further harm or criticism from others, the critical voice may seem protective. But over time, this voice becomes damaging. Identifying when and why the inner critic shows up is essential to shifting its power. Journaling, mindfulness, and therapy can all help illuminate the critic’s origins and impact.

The goal is not to silence the inner critic entirely, but to respond with compassion and truth. For every "I’m not good enough," you can learn to say, "I am doing my best." For every "I don’t deserve love," you can begin to say, "I am learning to accept love." Building a compassionate inner voice takes time, but it is a radical act of reclaiming your mind from the echoes of trauma.

At Catharsis Psychology and Psychotherapy, we support clients in increasing their self-esteem and self-compassion.