How to Support a Loved One Struggling with Mental Health

Loving someone who is struggling with their mental health can be one of the most challenging and meaningful experiences of your life. Whether they are facing anxiety, depression, trauma, or another mental health condition, knowing how to support them without losing yourself in the process can feel like walking a tightrope.

You want to be present. You want to help. But you also want to make sure you're not enabling, overextending, or unintentionally causing harm. The good news is: you don’t have to do it perfectly. Showing up consistently and compassionately goes a long way.

Start with Listening, Not Fixing

Many people jump into problem-solving mode the moment a loved one opens up about their mental health. But most of the time, they don’t need a solution — they need to be heard.

Instead of offering advice, try validating their experience:

“That sounds really hard.”
“I’m so glad you told me.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Practice active listening: put down your phone, make eye contact, and reflect back what you’re hearing. Don’t rush to reassure or cheerlead — just hold space.

Learn Their Triggers and Warning Signs

Everyone has different signs that things are getting worse. Some people isolate, others become irritable or withdrawn. Learning your loved one’s unique warning signs can help you check in early and offer support before things escalate.

Ask them when they’re doing well: “How can I tell when you’re not okay? What helps you in those moments?”

Support, Don’t Overfunction

It’s tempting to try to "save" someone when they’re in pain — to take over their responsibilities, manage their schedule, or constantly check in. But this can create dependency and drain your energy.

Instead, aim to:

Offer to do things with them, not for them (e.g., “Want to cook together?” instead of dropping off meals daily).
Respect their autonomy and don’t make decisions for them unless they’re in danger.
Encourage them to seek professional help and support them in making that connection.

Know What Not to Say

Avoid statements like:

“Just think positive.”
“It could be worse.”
“You don’t look depressed.”
“Snap out of it.”

These invalidate their experience and create shame. Instead, focus on empathy and openness.

Take Care of Yourself

Supporting someone else’s mental health doesn’t mean abandoning your own. It’s okay to:

Set boundaries around time, energy, and emotional labour.
Say, “I want to be here for you, but I need a moment to take care of myself too.”
Seek therapy or support groups to process your own feelings.

Burnout helps no one. You are allowed to protect your well-being while caring deeply.

When Crisis Happens

If your loved one is in immediate danger (e.g., suicidal thoughts or behaviour), do not hesitate to contact emergency services or a crisis line. You can:

Stay with them until help arrives.
Remove access to means of self-harm if possible.
Call a local crisis service for support and guidance.

Crisis support can be life-saving, and it’s okay to involve professionals.

Be a Safe Space Long-Term

Recovery is rarely linear. Your loved one might have good weeks followed by hard ones. What they need most is consistent, nonjudgmental support.

Remind them often:

“I’m proud of you.”
“You’re not a burden.”
“You matter to me — just as you are.”

Being a safe, steady presence makes a difference, even when it feels small.

Final Thought

You don’t need to be a therapist to make an impact. You just need to show up with empathy, patience, and love. Supporting someone with mental health challenges is not about fixing them — it’s about walking beside them, without rushing their pace.

Remember: you’re doing your best. And your best is enough.

Keerat Aujla is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) at Catharsis Psychology and Psychotherapy.