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When a loved one is struggling with anxiety or depression, it’s natural to want to help—but knowing how to provide meaningful support isn’t always straightforward. Mental health challenges can feel isolating and overwhelming for the person experiencing them, and as someone who cares for them, you may feel unsure about how to approach the situation or what to say.
In this blog, we’ll explore practical, compassionate ways to support a loved one while also protecting your own mental health in the process.
Understanding Anxiety and Depression
Before you can effectively support someone, it helps to understand what they might be experiencing:
Anxiety: Often involves persistent worry, fear, or restlessness, accompanied by physical symptoms like rapid heart rate, fatigue, or nausea.
Depression: Can include deep sadness, loss of interest in activities, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, and difficulty concentrating.
While these conditions can look different for everyone, what they often share is a sense of overwhelm and a need for understanding.
Practical Ways to Support a Loved One
1. Be a Compassionate Listener
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply listen without judgment.
Let them share their feelings at their own pace.
Avoid trying to "fix" their problems or offer unsolicited advice unless they ask for it.
Validate their experience with phrases like:
“That sounds really hard.”
“I’m here for you, no matter what.”
2. Encourage Professional Help
While your support is valuable, a therapist or mental health professional can provide specialized tools and guidance.
Gently suggest therapy or counselling: “Have you considered talking to someone about how you’re feeling?”
Offer to help them find resources, such as therapists, support groups, or hotlines.
Normalize seeking help by sharing examples of others (or yourself) who’ve benefited from therapy.
3. Check In Regularly
Consistency shows that you care. Even a quick text or call to say, “I’m thinking of you,” can make a big difference.
Ask open-ended questions like:
“How have you been feeling this week?”
“What’s been on your mind lately?”
Respect their boundaries if they’re not ready to talk, but let them know you’re there when they’re ready.
4. Offer Practical Support
Anxiety and depression can make everyday tasks feel impossible. Helping with small, manageable tasks can ease their burden:
Offer to cook a meal, run errands, or help clean their space.
Suggest taking a walk together for fresh air and light movement.
Ask them directly: “What would make today a little easier for you?”
5. Be Patient
Mental health struggles don’t have a quick fix. Your loved one may have good days and bad days, and progress can take time.
Avoid expressing frustration or expecting them to “snap out of it.”
Remind yourself that recovery is a journey, and your consistent presence means more than you might realize.
6. Educate Yourself About Mental Health
Learning about anxiety and depression can help you better understand what your loved one is going through and how to respond.
Research symptoms, treatment options, and ways to communicate effectively.
Familiarize yourself with resources like mental health hotlines or online support groups that you can share with them.
7. Respect Their Boundaries
While you want to help, it’s important to respect their autonomy.
If they’re not ready to talk, don’t push. Simply let them know you’re available when they’re ready.
Avoid offering solutions or advice unless they specifically ask for it.
What Not to Do
Sometimes, even well-intentioned actions can be unhelpful or hurtful. Here are a few things to avoid:
Minimizing Their Feelings: Avoid phrases like, “It’s not that bad,” or, “You’ll get over it.”
Taking It Personally: Their struggle isn’t a reflection of your efforts or relationship.
Assuming You Know What’s Best: Focus on supporting them, rather than trying to “fix” them.
Caring for Yourself While Supporting Others
Supporting someone with anxiety or depression can be emotionally draining. It’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being:
Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say no or step back if you feel overwhelmed.
Practice Self-Care: Make time for activities that recharge you, like exercise, hobbies, or spending time with other loved ones.
Seek Your Own Support: Talking to a therapist or joining a support group can help you process your feelings.
Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup—caring for yourself is an essential part of being there for others.
When to Intervene
If your loved one expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, take immediate action:
Encourage them to contact a crisis hotline or seek emergency help.
Stay with them or ensure they’re not alone until they’re safe.
Reach out to a trusted professional for guidance on how to support them.
Your intervention could save a life.
Conclusion: You Are Not Alone in Supporting Them
Supporting a loved one through anxiety or depression is an act of compassion and love, but it’s also a shared journey. You don’t have to have all the answers, and it’s okay to feel unsure at times.
By listening, encouraging professional help, and offering steady, non-judgmental support, you’re providing them with something invaluable: a sense of connection and hope. Remember, small acts of kindness can make a big difference.
Together, you can navigate the path to healing—one step at a time.
Karoline Achille is an EMDR-trained therapist who supports the healing of BIPOC individuals at Catharsis Psychology and Psychotherapy in Ontario.
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